Age 26. Cosmic adventurer of the mind, word magician, and unfortunate know-it-all that knows only a few things. Forgive me that last. Super feminist. Secular humanist. Writer. Vegetarian environmental advocate. Comments & asks encouraged. | | | "...years ago I recognized my kinship within all living beings, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on earth, I said then, and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free." --Eugene Debs | | |
why would anyone sit on [insert strange thing like a rusty pick-up truck or sandy beach or unstable splintery dock] without at least underpants on?
I mean, really.
my new vid includes:
✔ peeing in the woods
✔ almost falling out of a tree
✔ ranting about virginity, hymens, & why it’s all fucked up
Thank all of goodness that this video exists. Although I don’t understand why it’s happening in the woods, I also like the woods, in addition to the term “virginity” being wiped from human memory or something.
wordsofthequiet replied to your post: 7 in 10 divorces RE: …so your argument is that women get a great deal out of divorce and shouldn’t whine, and men are in the really horrible position in society? Seems flimsy to me.
I don’t think I implied anywhere that women shouldn’t whine (whine about what exactly?) or that its the men in this country who are the ones who are truly suffering. That would in my mind be like a white christian male crying oppression in this country. But I think its also disingenuous and naive to not think women do get a great deal out of divorce in courts these days, almost like its an incentive in some cases. I don’t think its a secret that when it comes to alimony and child support/custody the court and law sides with women favorably the majority of the time because of social stigmas. That would be akin to me denying that women get paid less for the same work as men, because we know it happens. I can acknowledge the horrible and unfair or unequal things men to do women so I don’t think its too much to ask that we shine light on issues where men are treated unequally by the law or address the negative social stigmas attached to us as a gender as well.
I apologize if I offended you, it’s totally possible that I misread your snark as accusatory. I’m the first person to get beaten over the head by fellow feminists for suggesting that men are negatively affected by patriarchy—but the key that your commentary seemed to be missing (and perhaps I’m jumping to conclusions or perhaps it doesn’t even matter) is that these results just happen to be the consequences of systemic discrimination against women. So, in my mind, the solution to fixing this is to upset the patriarchy and re-evaluate the power dynamics between men and women starting with not putting all of the child care burden on women with the expectation that a man’s money is a fair exchange for a partner to parent with. Not to suggest that its not courageous of women to ask for a divorce because they get all the good stuff out of a divorce. The courage of asking for a divorce comes from a vast, systemic history of being a good woman only if you are married to a man. That’s a lot to overcome, and the fact that men get the short end of the stick in court cases relating to divorce isn’t necessarily a victory for women either. My own mother had almost sole custody of my brother and I, received small payments from my father, and the burden of raising us was entirely on her because my father chose not fight for more time with us. The judge chose my mother for her womanliness more than her ability to parent a violent, volatile, troublesome son and young daughter. I don’t think she considered that victory.
As far as alimony is concerned, typically the court awards more money to the offended party (if someone cheated, he/she would pay most, for example) or the most paid is by the person who made the most money—which happens to most often be men because, again, patriarchy. Of course each husband or father should be seen as an individual, with their own benefits and abilities and desires and guilt—but that should be because both parties are given equal consideration, not because men have been denied rights—which they haven’t been. Social “stigmas” against men were created by men, who define their own measurements of masculinity and build a society that encourages those measures that lead to a higher occurrence of violence, adultery, and child abandonment among men. Those are the consequences of a society men built for themselves and that men can change through their majority share in power—and shouldn’t expect women to write articles about divorce that make them feel better about it.
I realize you are not the patriarchy. I realize that you are an individual man who exists in a complex society built by a collection of men who came long before you. I’m not suggesting that this is your problem personally or your fault. I’m just arguing, for the sake of progress, that men can change this issue by being more present fathers and husbands and more aware of who they marry, not ranting against female writers trying to empower single women.